We are very sad that some have been "offended" by the theme here at the Reformed Mafia. Even though we've tried to explain that the theme is just tounge-in-cheek, some people still insist that this is an offensive theme that glorifies criminal activities and promotes violence.
As a public service, Gordan and I have put our heads together and want to warn our offended guests of some other blogs that they may not want to visit if they are offended by this one. We hope you will heed our warnings and do not venture onto these blogs:
- The Pyromaniacs: Here's an offensive blog for you. These guys are glorifying the sin of arson!
- Reformed Renegade: Here's a guy who's theme is being a renegade. Being a renegade is certainly un-Christian.
- Conservative Reformed Mafia: Another Mafia blog, oh my! Look at that dark and sinister layout! Their canine mascott looks evil too...
- Strange Baptist Fire: I don't know how any Christian could make a blog that glorifies "strange fire." Remember Nadab and Abihu? Anyone?
- Triablogue: The name's not offensive, but look at the artwork that glorifies warfare right there in the title!
- Fide-O: Pronounced like the dog's name. What is it with Calvinists and dogs, anyway? (See 3 above.) The theme of this blog is that they see themselves as guard dogs. How can that honor Christ?
- 2 Worlds Collide: Again, violent artwork (on a cosmic scale) right in the title. This guy apparently gets some joy out of hoping our planet will run into another one. Probably watches too much unsanctified science fiction. (As opposed to the sanctified kind: Left Behind.)
- Comfort Food: Either glorifies the sin of gluttony, or makes fun of people with an emotional disorder that causes them to turn to food for stress-relief. Either way, not good.
- Hip and Thigh: This guy just comes right out and says he's "slaughtering" his theological opponents!! He perverts a Bible verse to do it, too!!!!!!!!!
- The Red and Black Redneck: This Calvinistic Baptist from Georgia makes several damning admissions right on the front page, aside from using a culturally insensitive name in the first place: he watches football, apparently roots for the Bulldogs, is a lawyer, and (gasp) enjoys bourbon! Just call the cops right now.
- Tom in the Box: Well, you'll just have to read this one. It's too messed up to even describe. By the title, we think it has something to do with the kidnapping of some guy named Tom. They've probably got him locked in a trunk. We're calling the FBI on this one!
- TheoJunkie: Clever turn of phrase: makes God out to be some kind of narcotic.
- D-Dizzle Fo Shizzle: Not sure if she's a Calvinist, but judging by the title, the gal who runs this blog must listen to lots of Snoop Dog. Don't let your teens read this blog unless you want them talking in Snoop Speak!
- Mashed Potatoes on the Anvil: The subtitle of this blog is "taking a hammer to weak arguments." Again, what is it with these Calvinists and their violent blog themes? This guy even seems to promote violence against mashed potatoes! Ahhhh!
- Chadwick Ivester: Home of the satirical SBCEnquirer©. We all know satire cannot serve the cause of Christ.
Well, we hope that this will keep some of you from getting offended anymore than you already have. I've added a new rule to our Mafia Code of Conduct. Please click here and check out line #10.
--------------------------
Gordan's Late Edit: I've decided to go ahead and add a #16, since it's such a good, round number of repeated biblical significance....[crickets chirping uneasily]
16. The Beretta Blog: A great deal about this blog offends the pious Christian conscience. Hat tip to Glenn, who was offended at our lack of offense. The tag line, "Say hello to my little friend" is a clear cultural reference to one of the most senselessly violent movies ever made, for one. For another thing, that movie glorified organized crime, which no Christian would ever make use of in a blog theme. Third, "Beretta" is either a reference to a type of handgun (which is offensive all by itself) or, worse, could be a cryptic reference to the horrid TV cop series from the 70's. But having seen no image of Robert Blake at the blog, I'll think the best of this brother and imagine he's talking about the gun, which is downright wicked, of course. Lastly, the blog is obviously delving into some sort of witchcraft that causes the text to move independantly of the background; and, I am offended by how dizzy that made me.
Have nice day!
(Special thanks to Gordan for his huge contribution to this project!)
Posts
44 comments:
Yo Dizzle here, fo shizzle. I am definitely subscribing to your blog. Thanks for the props. Word.
Rhett,
We, at SBCEnquirer, are umbled (no h) to have made the last slot on your list . . . and since we are dead last, does that mean that we are the LEAST offensive? or the most repulsive? :D
We, at SBCEnquirer salute you, Rhett! Keep up the thought-provoking and offensive (to some) blog!
Blessings from all of us at the SBCEnquirer,
chadwick, chadwick, chadwick, & chadwick
Rhett, dude, I like your re-write of my description of Tom in the Box. Even in a post about causing unnecessary offense, I had definitely crossed the line there. Nice edit, bro.
LOL... thanks for the link. Maybe my Technorati Authority will venture above Zero now...
Sounds like you guys are getting a lot of pressure on this.
I'm not offended of you theme-- it reminds me of the erstwhile "Reformed Mafia" group of folk that used to plague the poor victimized free will hearts and otherwise slander God over at Crosswalk forums several years ago (I got in on the tail end of that, and so it's only legend to me).
Anyway, I've wondered if you all were a part of that.
Stick to your guns (ahem...)
... but also always be open to the voice of the Spirit in these matters. Test all things (including all criticisms)..
... or "offended BY youR theme", even...
Crabootleg Cakes-
Yum!
Dear Kelley,
Forgive me if I am over bounds here, for I do not intend to be.
I am in no way offended by your blog or its theme (because I see that it is only a gimmick) and in fact I am a Reformed Baptist myself. I have been blessed by the many articles you and your "cohorts of crime" produce, and I will continue to read this blog.
But I do not believe you handled this situation in a very Christ-honoring way. Yes, I get the fact that people who are offended by this blog shouldn't be. Yes, I get the fact that you are merely defending yourself. I am not criticizing you standing up for Reformed theology, or for your
theme; please do not misunderstand me.
However, is there really any reason you need to become sarcastic towards the brethren? I do not believe so.
What did the Holy Spirit through Paul say? "Mock those who are offended, albeit ever so sillily?"
Or did He say something along these lines:
"Love is patient, love is kind... love does not act unbecomingly; is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)?
Were these His words:
"Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand... But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your
brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God... Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this--not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way. I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean." (Romans 14:4, 10, 13-14)?
Did not Jesus teach:
"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:3, 5)?
And finally, what was it the brother of our Lord said:
"But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter
water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh. Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom" (James 3:8-13)?
If I have erred in charging you with uncharitableness and the placing of a stumbling block in the way of those who are weak in the faith, I pray for your most gracious forgiveness.
In His grace,
--Christian Brother
Christian Bro - actually, are the "offended" worrying about "stumbling" other with their legalism?
In my experience, some of the largest stumbling blocks out there are requirements and strictures and burdens that are not necessary that are taken up by some Christian who with a Phariseetical zeal impose them on other.
I have been chastised for my various themes over the years.
Once, I had a green and black theme. I was told it looked too much like a warez hacker theme. I had never been to a warez site at that time, but apparently the rebuking brother had.
At TWeb, we have a dove in our logo. I have received a whole string of emails of how that is idolatry.
Now in my current one, I got some screwy comment about lesbian housewives.
The fact is that many Christians think getting offended is a spiritual gift and patrol the halls of life like a school marm with a ruler. Sometimes "mind your own business" is a lesson that Christians need to learn - or more appropriately, the doctrine of the Church is going out the crapper with the emergent twaddle that is being peddled, yet peeps are worried about a play on a "mafia" theme? Give me a break.
And the sad thing is, there are going to be the same legalists reading me who are going to care only that I used the word "crapper" rather than any of my points.
The Wild and Whacky World of American Evangelicalism.
I was chuckling to myself as I was reading through the list until I came to #7. I'm offended on several different levels.
First, you call my artwork violent. How in the world can you say I'm glorifying violence and calling for the destruction of all those opposed to my position? How can you say that I'm willing to decimate anyone who gets in my way, like I'm some mafia thug?
Second, you call me "this guy." I've got a name. Like the pine trees lining the winding road...
Like the singin' bird and the croakin' toad...I've got a name, I've got a name. And I carry it with me like my daddy did
But I'm livin' the dream that he kept hid. Movin' me down the highway, rollin' me down the highway, Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by.
Third, you speak of my joy in hoping to see earth crash with another heavenly body, then suppose I don't watch 'Left Behind' on a regular basis. How else would I find such delight in thinking about the destruction of this planet? 'Left Behind' is so biblical; in fact, next to the Bible, it's the best series of books on the planet (except for those Frank Peretti books, those are pretty good).
Rev, I didn't even get into the fact that you choose to picture yourself wearing a devil-beard. Paging Anton Levay!!
I would say we've been gracious.
Christian Brother, it might help you to know that the poor, persecuted, weak ones you want us to remember formed a secret-meeting network, spread vicious slander about two men of God, flagrantly violated a church covenant, and forced them out of positions of ministry for no good reason. Their "offense" at the blog theme was nothing more than an excuse for their actions (and some of them have admitted as much.) It is apparently still being used by some as an excuse...since they need something, anything, evil to point at.
It is not as if we here go looking for shrinking violets to step on. And, frankly, the same Jesus and Paul you quoted were not above ridiculing the ridiculous, so I think there is a balance to be maintained. I believe that's what you were hoping to remind us all about, and I am thankful for that...but thus far unrepentant for this quite obviously satirical (and hilarious, if I must say so myself) post.
Dear Dee Dee,
Thanks for your polite response. :)
You ask, "Are the 'offended' worrying about 'stumbling' others with their legalism?"
1. Whether they are or aren't, two wrongs don't make a right.
2. How do you know they are being legalistic (I'm not being defensive, just asking a simple question. That's the hard thing about talking over the internet, it is sometimes hard to interpret emotions.)? In Romans 14, when Paul spoke of the brother who wouldn't eat meat out of worship for the Lord, he didn't condemn that man. Instead, he condemned the one who would judge that brother's actions.
You observe, "In my experience, some of the largest stumbling blocks out there are requirements and strictures and burdens that are not necessary that are taken up by some Christian who with a Phariseetical zeal impose them on other."
I cannot disagree with this, but I think that doesn't eliminate the fact that sarcasm towards sincere Christians is uncharitable. Is not the point of Christian unity to edify the body of Christ, rather than tear it down? I'm not saying Rhett shouldn't defend this blog's theme, but does he absolutely need to use sarcasm in order to achieve that goal?
You write, "I have been chastised for my various themes over the years."
I am sorry to hear that.
Finally, you say, "The fact is that many Christians think getting offended is a spiritual gift and patrol the halls of life like a school marm with a ruler. Sometimes "mind your own business" is a lesson that Christians need to learn - or more appropriately, the doctrine of the Church is going out the crapper with the emergent twaddle that is being peddled, yet peeps are worried about a play on a "mafia" theme? Give me a break."
I agree, but this does not negate the fact that a Christian's duty is to always speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) so that we may build up the body (Ephesians 4:16). Is it really that hard to say, "Mind your own business," without the use of sarcasm?
May God bless this discourse, and give to both of us understanding according to His Word.
God bless you, Dee Dee,
--Christian Brother
Dee, I'm fine with Crapper (note capital C to honor the inventer) but "twaddle" makes me nervous, like the uncle who used to like to squeeze my knee.
Christian Brother,
I appreciate your feedback. Your points are well taken.
I'm simply trying to highlight the fact that there's all sorts of blog themes out there that somebody could get "offended" over if they were out looking to get offended.
Dee Dee has sumed up the rest of my thoughts very well in her comment above. I'm not in the business of trying to coddle legalists who have no sense of humor.
The bottom line is that if this blog is that offensive to these people, they need to execise their free will and stop reading it.
Again, I appreciate your feedback.
RK
Dear Gordon,
Thank you for that little revelation. This is exactly what I meant when I said, "If I have erred in charging you with uncharitableness, I pray for your most gracious forgiveness."
In which case, Rhett, I'm sorry for my ignorant post. Would you please forgive me?
And Dee Dee, don't worry about responding to my response to you. That was written in ignorance as well.
~~~
Gordan, "It is not as if we here go looking for shrinking violets to step on."
I'm sorry if that's the impression I gave off in my response. Again, ignorance deserves to be corrected. I hope you know I did not intend for that to be my message.
In His blessing,
--Christian Brother
Christian Brother,
No need to apologize my friend. Without having knowledge of the whole situation, I can totally understand your response.
RK
Christian bro -
>>You ask, "Are the 'offended' worrying about 'stumbling' others with their legalism?"
1. Whether they are or aren't, two wrongs don't make a right.>>>
That wasn't my point though - my point was that one of the main arguments of the Holy Offended is that they think the (word, theme, tv show, whatever) is stumbling others, yet never consider that the yoke they wish to place on others is a stumbling block.
>>
2. How do you know they are being legalistic>>>
Because it is ridiculous to get offended over such an issue and to act as if they are taking the Christian position. The Christian position is not one of strident dos and don'ts, and (gasp!) there is room for humour.
>>In Romans 14, when Paul spoke of the brother who wouldn't eat meat out of worship for the Lord, he didn't condemn that man. Instead, he condemned the one who would judge that brother's actions.>>
So if I told you that the fact that you part your hair in the middle stumbles me, you would be wrong? How about if I say to the gal next to me, I am offended that you are breathing my air?
I am being ridiculous for a point - Paul's statement has a specific context, and it isn't about using the "I'm offended card" to be a Pharisee to the brethren over minor issues.
>>You observe, "In my experience, some of the largest stumbling blocks out there are requirements and strictures and burdens that are not necessary that are taken up by some Christian who with a Phariseetical zeal impose them on other."
I cannot disagree with this, but I think that doesn't eliminate the fact that sarcasm towards sincere Christians is uncharitable. >>>
The Bible uses sarcasm heavily against legalism. Where do you get the idea that sarcasm is always wrong? Jesus was sarcastic. Paul was sarcastic. John was sarcastic. It is really only modern day Hello Kitty Christianity that gets its undies all in a wad over this. Sarcasm has its place, and to be honest, I don't even think that this blog post was heavy sarcasm at all.
>>
Is not the point of Christian unity to edify the body of Christ, rather than tear it down? >>>
You mean like straining at the gnat of being offended at a blog theme? You see, there is a huge problem in Christianity today - and it is the problem of Solomon's baby. We think everyone's right so when there is a problem we just meet halfway and sing kum-by-ya. But sometimes there is a right and wrong party - and it is ridiculous for anyone to get in a snit over a blog theme. (I have a much more offensive blog btw than the one linked to here)and a podcast.
There is a book called The Serrated Edge by Doug Wilson. I really do recommend it to you to get a balanced biblical look on the issue of satire and sarcasm.
>>I'm not saying Rhett shouldn't defend this blog's theme, but does he absolutely need to use sarcasm in order to achieve that goal?>>
Since I don't believe sarcasm is wrong, then the question is a non-starter. Did Jesus really need to sarcastically belittle and humiliate people?
>>You write, "I have been chastised for my various themes over the years."
I am sorry to hear that.
Finally, you say, "The fact is that many Christians think getting offended is a spiritual gift and patrol the halls of life like a school marm with a ruler. Sometimes "mind your own business" is a lesson that Christians need to learn - or more appropriately, the doctrine of the Church is going out the crapper with the emergent twaddle that is being peddled, yet peeps are worried about a play on a "mafia" theme? Give me a break."
I agree, but this does not negate the fact that a Christian's duty is to always speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) so that we may build up the body (Ephesians 4:16). Is it really that hard to say, "Mind your own business," without the use of sarcasm?>>
See above.
>>May God bless this discourse, and give to both of us understanding according to His Word.>>
And you as well. I do not recommend you visit my website or blogs. You will be offended.
Gordon.... but the words "emergent" and "twaddle" just flow so naturally together. Like "bat" and "guano."
Hmm so Crapper is okay? I will have to try harder. Hey if you want a laugh some day, just use the word "turd" randomly in sentences throughout the day. Trust me. It is sheer hilarity.
Oh and my favourite one from above:
Comfort Food: Either glorifies the sin of gluttony, or makes fun of people with an emotional disorder that causes them to turn to food for stress-relief. Either way, not good.
That is sheer genius.
Oh I forgot one! I was told that d-dizzle fo shizzle means "give me a dime bag of weed for sure" and that I was condoning drug use.
What it does mean is my nickname is Dizzle, so you add the first D and have d-dizzle, and the fo shizzle is for sure, so the blog is basically "Dee Dee For Sure"
or I am selling pot. Or something.
Hey Christian Bro our posts crossed in the ether.
It's all good, have a wonderfully blessed night.
Dear Dee Dee,
Hey Christian Bro our posts crossed in the ether.
Hahaha! I sort of figured as much. :D
have a wonderfully blessed night.
You too!
With holy love,
--Christian Brother
CRM made the list of most offensive blogs? Yes, we've arrived! ;) Keep up the good work, guys.
Gordan:
I'm offended because you accused me openly - for the whole world to see on this blog - that I attend monthly sabbats and howl at the moon. Will your evil doing never end?
"I agree, but this does not negate the fact that a Christian's duty is to always speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) so that we may build up the body (Ephesians 4:16). Is it really that hard to say, "Mind your own business," without the use of sarcasm?"
I have said ye are gods...
Do you ever read the words of Jesus? Honestly with out the rose colored Songlasses. As I tell my kids your head is not your * (censored for your sake), the world is not pink and don't p*** on a flat rock... (the KJV read's pisseth against a wall, don't want my liberty of paraphrase to be challenged as offensive. Ever notive that if you speak in KJVese you end up spitting all over the place which really is offensive).
Jesus at times is quite sarcastic, caustic, judgmental, inflamatory (like that torch and scorch stuff, I do). Should I ever be like him? Maybe it should be DDWJWD; don't do what Jesus would do?
You know for sure, Paul never used sarcasm? Umh, like in his letter to the Corinthians?
Have you ever read where it is written, "Woe to you mummy, whose grave wrappings are coming loose." Well it is not in Scripture. And beside that it is nonsense. But, you do know that the Lord sent out hit men, don't you, even against his own people? I mean, I just saw it in a movie. Some guy threw two huge rocks down and killed a bunch of people. Blood, guts galore, and fire and smoke and sparklers. There is all kinds of offending scenes found in Scripture as well as plentiful "I will hold you in derision and laugh at you from the heavens," stuff. Mundane the Scripture is not, 1 Yo'd. God's got a sense of humor, too, and thick skin, and you ought to be thankful that he does or he might just send someone to torch you? Remember, there was Paul, aka Mumbles, turning over brothers to Satan, what is that? Building up in love? Well, yeah! With a little demolition and excavation, first.
And all this that I have said was said in love because the only thing that is in my heart for you my Christian Brother is love,
right now I have to go watch Sponge Bob use the Crapper....
Beside that, if these guys wanted to be shoe salesmen rather than fighting the illegimate federales by selling intoxicating truth then they would write at my blog, where I only use sweet smelling flars... honest!
Oh no you didn't. You left out the Beretta Blog - "Say Hello to my Little Friend!"
Now I'm going to have to take you out. I hope you like fishes.
woo hoo! I started a Crapper meme.
My work here is done.
Rev,
Will my evil never end? Hmmm. Depends on who you ask. BTW, my wife is unavailable for questioning. And I honestly didn't think of you howling at the moon...although that would fit with the whole recurring DOG theme with these offensive blogs.
---------
Glenn,
No, please! Ya gotta give us a chance! I'm certain we could be offended by your blog, if you'd only give us a little time.
--------------
D Dizzle,
Um, sister, I'm thinking if that bit lets you know your work is done, you should maybe consider raising your sites just a tad. I'm just sayin'.
--------------
Jeff,
Yes, you made the list, but you should keep in mind the offense has nothing at all to do with content, but only with decorative theme elements. Your dog is scary.
Thomas:
Speaking of relief on the wall, have you seen the "preaching" video of the guy "expositing" that verse? My!
Rev- should we ask that you post the link? Or do we really want to see it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDxcyqeRc-4
Now I know why I have always wanted to install a urinal in my bathroom: because I'm a MAN!!!
:P
Gentlemen: What a great way to start a Saturday morning. Thanks for the link and the laughs. Now I somehow have to manage to get my self ready to spend the majority of the day drinking beer in hospitality suite at the Nationwide PGA tour event today. Although, according to the authors of Drinking With Luther and Calvin, Bud Light really doesn't count as beer.
A few years ago, I took part in a "Spiritual Gifts" exercise at church. I was amazed how many people had the spiritual gifts of thin-skinnedness, criticism and hyper-sensitivity. Undoubtedly, orthodox evangelical Christianity has been overly influenced by Victorian era prudery. Certainly, what I took away from my SBC raisin' consisted of little more than "don't drink, don't smoke, don't chew and don't date girls who do" which I promptly did. As one of the guys on the White Horse Inn recently said, and I am paraphrasing, in the middle of the night, some set of morality rules will not comfort your soul.
Thanks again for the nod and y'all are all welcome over at my place. I can handle criticism of the Bulldogs - just no praising of the Yellow Jackets!
Another "offensive" Reformed blog for your list:
"Razor's Kiss"
http://razorskiss.net/wp/
-Turretinfan
Wow, I've hit the big time now. I made the "most offensively titled blog list." Very cool. Thanks for the link and keep up the good work.
I always associated it with the splatter effect, really kinda dumb, 'specially in sandles.
I didn't know that I would be lumped together with KJVites. Woe is me, I am undone. Strange apologetic that spraying is the test of inspiration and text preservation. Still, it is a strange paradigm that moderns would seek to eliminate offensive language as if language itself was necessarily offensive. Now that I know that I am subtly being drawn in to postmodernism via modernist translations I am going back to the bible Jesus quoted!
Speaking of spraying, Machine Gun, don't you just hate it when the urinal is at a child's level? I have a design for a clean urinal for men only, but I won't get into that, right now.
Thanks Rev! I am not sure that any of those kinds of texts (there are scatological ones too) make for great Gospel preaching, but they sure get people talking. When I was homeschooling, these verses really peeked my kids interest.
The reason that I did not use an offensive title on either of my blogs was to demonstrate that I was not as offensive as I sound. Now I am wondering why y'all chose offensive cognomina...hmmm
Thanks deedee, see what happens when you lead people down this fateful road of dee-term-ination.
Great post! And you asked, "What is it with Calvinists and dogs, anyway?" That reminds me of a story I once heard about a man you said to his wife who was giving him a hard time: "My dog is my friend. But a man needs at least two friends." His wife snapped, "Then you had better get another dog." -- Calvinist need friends too.
Hmmm... Perhaps a dog would be a friend who wouldn't stab me in the back when he learns I'm a Calvinist!
;)
I'm a cat guy myself, but I know I can't become complacent around them. They bide their time, waiting for their opportunity.
Plus, they'll eat you if you happen to die at home.
Plus, they'll eat you if you happen to die at home.
Dogs will do it too. Just ask my sister: She's a Paramedic!!
That may be. But I think that's merely instinctive for the dog. In a cat, it's clearly premeditated. You can see it their eyes.
That's erie Gordan.
I happen to have a Manx: A true predator it is.
Now I'm even more glad the thing lives outdoors!
Some scary stuff up in this piece!
I'll keep my eyes and ears open for any tomfoolery from this cast of characters.
I didn't post a link to the offensiveness that is "Say Hello to my Little Friend" over at Beretta: http://www.beretta-online.com/wordpress
I'm adding this place to my blogroll, in spite of the snub. Louie and his cousins will take care of that.
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